If you've ever found yourself Googling "how to move abroad" at 2 a.m. while the news blares in the background—or while quietly dreading another round of bills, burnout, or biased microaggressions—you're not alone.

You're also not wrong for wanting out.

More and more Americans, especially Black women, are daydreaming about a life outside the U.S.—a life that feels softer, safer, and more in line with their values.

But dreaming is one thing. Taking the leap is another. And if you've been hovering between "I want to go" and "Why haven't I left yet?"—this article is for you.

Let's talk about that hesitation. Not to shame it. But to see it, name it, and then figure out what we can do about it.

You might've seen my story in Essence or Business Insider—I shared why I left the U.S., how I rebuilt my life abroad as a veteran, and how I now help other women do the same. This isn't just theory for me. I've lived it, and I know what it's like to want more and feel stuck at the same time.

Here are some of the biggest reasons that hesitation sticks around—and what to do with it when it shows up.

The Real Reasons You Might Be Hesitant to Leave the U.S.

1. I'm scared of starting over… again.

Let's be real: Many of us have already started over, more than once. New jobs, new cities, new chapters after heartbreak or loss. But moving abroad can feel like starting over on steroids. Different language, different laws, different culture. You might wonder, "Do I have the energy to learn all of this from scratch?"

But here's the truth: You're not starting from zero. You're starting from experience. Everything you've learned so far—how to navigate systems, advocate for yourself, bounce back from disappointment—comes with you. You're not a beginner. You're a builder.

2. What if I can't afford it?

This is a big one. And it makes sense. So much of American life has taught us that we have to be making six figures and collecting stamps in a passport full of business class upgrades before we're "allowed" to live abroad. But the truth?

You don't have to be rich to relocate. You need a strategy. 

Many countries have a significantly lower cost of living than the U.S. Once you're earning remotely or have even a small stream of income, your dollars may stretch much further than they do now. That doesn't mean it'll be easy. But it does mean it's possible—and potentially more sustainable than you think.

3. I don't want to do it alone.

Even the strongest, most independent woman gets tired of doing it all herself. And moving abroad—especially without a partner or a built-in support system—can feel deeply isolating. You might be thinking, "Who's going to have my back if something goes wrong?"

Here's the shift: You're not the only one asking this question. There are entire communities of Black women quietly plotting the same escape. Many of us are just waiting for someone to say it out loud so we can find each other.

There are WhatsApp groups, Facebook communities, podcasts, and even expat meetups full of women who are also doing this on their own. And it turns out? Many of them become lifelong friends, chosen family, and your safety net when things get hard.

4. What about healthcare?

This one's especially real if you're living with a chronic condition, mental health challenges, or aging parents. American healthcare may be expensive, but at least you know how it works, right?

But guess what? In many countries, healthcare is not only more affordable but also more accessible. You don't have to be wealthy to see a doctor. You don't have to navigate 12 layers of insurance confusion. And if you're a veteran or receiving care through specific programs, you may be surprised how many benefits still apply abroad (hello, VA Foreign Medical Program).

Planning is key, yes—but fear doesn't have to be the reason you stay.

5. What if it's worse?

When you've been let down by your own country—by its systems, its politics, its promises-it 's normal to be skeptical. What if the new place is just a different flavor of oppression? What if you face racism, loneliness, or new challenges you haven't even thought of yet?

Here's the thing: Moving abroad doesn't guarantee peace. But it can increase your options. You get to decide what you're willing to tolerate, what you need to feel free, and what kind of tradeoffs you're no longer willing to make. You get to choose again.

What You Can Do (without moving tomorrow)

You don't need to sell your house, quit your job, and ship your furniture overseas by the end of next week. You can start with baby steps that help you build clarity, courage, and confidence. Here are a few ways to begin:

✅ Start by visiting, not relocating.

Book a two to four-week trip to a country you're curious about. Live like a local. Shop for groceries and take public transit, then notice how you feel in your body and mind. 

✅ Do a "money reality check."

Look up cost-of-living estimates for your dream destinations. Then compare them to your current budget. Sometimes the numbers alone are enough to prove to yourself, "Oh wait… this is doable."

✅ Take inventory of your skills.

What can you do remotely? What have people paid you for in the past? What problems can you solve? If you don't want to rely on finding a job abroad, look into monetizing your skills online (that's something I help women with, by the way).

✅ Talk to others who've done it.

Don't scroll in silence. Follow expat creators. Join forums. Reach out to people you trust and say, "I'm thinking about moving abroad, but I'm not sure where to start." Real stories and honest conversations can go a long way.

✅ Name your real reason.

Is it safety? Rest? Better healthcare? More joy? Less stress? When the fear shows up, let your "why" speak louder.

You're Not Crazy. You're Craving Something Real.

If something in you is whispering (or screaming), "I can't do this anymore"—listen. That voice is not drama. It's not weakness. It's wisdom. And while you might not feel ready yet, that doesn't mean you're not called to something more.

Sometimes the first step isn't booking a flight. It's giving yourself permission to want something else.

You don't have to justify that to anyone.

You just have to begin.

You've got this!
Marcia Hylton, aka Marcia Unbound
Move Abroad Advisor

P.S. You don't have to do it all at once. But you don't have to stay stuck either. If you're looking for a warm community of women who understand why you're ready to make a move (even if you're still figuring it out), I'd love to help. From free mini-courses to my Digital Nomad Income Toolkit and email series, you've got support waiting.

And if you're someone who doesn't love posting in big online groups or asking for help in public, I see you too. If you'd rather have a more personal, simplified path or someone to guide you through it quietly, that's precisely what I'm here for. Get in touch. I can help figure it out, one baby step at a time.