A friend of mine has worked hard his whole life. He raised great kids, overcame things most people never talk about, and is now a proud grandfather. 

He’s been the rock, the fixer, the dependable one, always there when someone needed him. And now, he wants to do something for himself. He’s dreaming of travel, of shifting into a slower rhythm. Maybe even spending seasons abroad.

But when we talked, he said something that stuck with me: “What if I’m not there when they need me?”

That question is part love, part habit, part fear, and is one I’ve heard from people of all ages. Not just parents or grandparents, but also from younger folks in their 30s and 40s who worry that choosing freedom or distance might somehow mean choosing against the people they love.

I don’t have a traditional family structure. No kids. No partner. But I do have chosen family—dear friends, people I love deeply, folks who show up for me and for whom I will show up in an instant. That love may look different on paper, but it’s just as real.

And like many people who travel or live abroad, I’ve learned that connection isn’t only about proximity. Sometimes, stepping away doesn’t mean disconnecting. It means reconnecting with yourself and with those you love on more intentional terms.

Redefining What “Far Away” Really Means

Being abroad doesn’t have to mean disappearing into a new life that shuts the door behind you. Your version of moving abroad can be designed on your terms:

• One flight away still means reachable.

• A few months abroad each year can leave plenty of time for family back home.

• Frequent visits might happen more than they do now.

• Quality time together often improves when it’s planned and cherished.

Many expats report seeing loved ones more after moving abroad, because the time is intentional, not just convenient. Living closer doesn’t always mean feeling closer.

Let’s Name the Pressure, especially for Black Women.

Many of us Black women were raised to put everyone else first. To be strong, available, and self-sacrificing. We’re praised for being the one who never drops the ball, who hold everyone else together even when it costs us everything.

So the idea of stepping away, even temporarily, can feel like betrayal.

But what if your peace isn’t betrayal, it’s healing?

What if your joy and rest become a permission slip for the people you love to claim their own?

You’re Not Taking Something Away. You’re Adding Possibilities.

There’s a myth that choosing freedom means leaving people behind. But what if your decision to move shows others—especially the next generation—that it’s okay to pursue peace, joy, adventure, and rest? What if you are the blueprint?

That ripple effect matters.

One of the women in my community moved to Portugal at 55. Her daughter and grandkids couldn’t imagine her leaving. But she planned regular visits, paid for their first passports, and now they visit every summer. That first summer, they stayed in her sunny apartment and learned how to say “thank you” in Portuguese. Now her granddaughter brags that her grandma “lives in Europe.”

Her absence became an adventure they all share.

Kids Benefit Too. Even If They’re Not the Ones Moving.

Worried about the little ones in your life?

Research shows that children who travel, or even who have close family members who live abroad, benefit from cultural exposure, increased emotional intelligence, and a broader worldview.

✅ According to Localize.com, 24% of American digital nomads travel with their children, which tells us that family and freedom don’t have to cancel each other out.

✅ The Journal of Travel Research notes that children exposed to international experiences (even through family storytelling and visits) show higher levels of adaptability, creativity, and empathy.

Even if you’re not raising kids abroad, you’re still helping shape how they see the world. Those visits to your home abroad could become some of their most formative memories.

What About the Logistics?

Yes, it takes some planning. But everything meaningful does.

Here are a few ways expats stay emotionally and logistically close to home:

• Build in visits: Make return trips part of your annual budget and routine.

• Split your time: Spend 3 to 6 months abroad, and the rest closer to home.

• Stay virtually connected: Weekly video calls, shared online photo albums, even movie nights using apps like Teleparty.

• Host family abroad: Invite them to experience your new home and make shared memories in a new place.

• Emergency readiness: Keep a “return home” fund and clear travel insurance to fly home if needed.

And for those caring for aging parents or supporting loved ones? Many nomads rotate time with siblings or other family, use trusted caregivers, or choose countries with easy, affordable flight paths.

The Hidden Gift: Quality Over Quantity

Just because you live in the same city doesn’t mean you’re connecting deeply with your family.

The move abroad often transforms rushed check-ins into planned, meaningful visits. Whether it’s sitting around the table over fresh seafood in Portugal or chatting in a cozy Airbnb back home for the holidays, the time together becomes intentional.

You start to show up with presence. Not just availability.

You’re Not Just Leaving, You’re Leading.

So no, you’re not running away. You’re opening a door.

You’re saying, “I want more, and I want that for you, too.”

You’re proving it’s never too late to make a new choice.

And maybe most importantly, you’re reclaiming the right to build a life that honors your heart and your relationships.

Whether you go for a season or for good, the love doesn’t disappear. It travels with you, and often, grows in ways you never imagined.

Reflect on These Questions

• What’s one fear I have about moving away from my loved ones?

• What does “being there” for my family actually look like? Could it happen from abroad?

• What story have I been told about what it means to be “the dependable one,” and is it still serving me?

• What could change if I gave myself permission to want more?

Old Story vs. New Possibility 

In Summary

If you’re dreaming of living abroad but holding back because you’re afraid of losing connection with family, you’re not alone.

But don’t forget: you don’t have to choose between your freedom and your relationships.

You can build a life that includes both.

And with WhatsApp, cheap flights, digital calendars, and conscious planning, being “far away” has never been more manageable.

You’re not disappearing. You’re expanding.

And you just might be the invitation someone else in your family didn’t know they were waiting for.

Need Support?

If this article spoke to something you’ve been carrying quietly, you’re not alone. I’ve created tools like The Digital Nomad Money Strategy Toolkit and coaching sessions to help you plan your move in a way that honors you and the people you love.

You don’t have to figure this out alone.

You don’t need permission to create a life that feels like yours. But if you need help, I’m right here.

Wishing you an overabundance of financial, location, and time freedom
Marcia Hylton, aka Marcia Unbound
Remote Income Coach

P.S. Curious about why I made such a big move? I recently shared more of my story in a feature with Business Insider. It’s raw, real, and all about what led me to sell it all and start over abroad. You can read it here.